The role that parents play in the life of a soccer player has a tremendous impact on their experience. With this in mind, the National Soccer Coaches Association has provided some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach the upcoming season. If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free to discuss it with us, the coaches.
- Let the coaches coach: Leave the coaching to the coaches. This includes motivating, psyching your child for practice, after-game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training, etc. You have entrusted the care of your player to these coaches and they need to be free to do their job. If a player has too many coaches, it is confusing for them and their performance usually declines.
- Support the program: Get involved. Volunteer. Help out with fundraisers, car-pooling, anything to support the program.
- Be your child's best fan: Support your child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs poorly. Your child should never have to perform to win your love.
- Support and root for all players on the team: Foster teamwork. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When they are playing better than your child, your child now has a wonderful opportunity to learn.
- Do not bribe or offer incentives: Your job is not to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff. Bribes distract your child from properly concentrating in practice and game situations.
- Encourage your child to talk with the coaches: If your child is having difficulties in practice or games, or can't make a practice, etc., encourage them to speak directly to the coaches. This "responsibility taking" is a big part of becoming a player. By handling the off-field tasks, your child is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game preparation for as well as playing the game.
- Understand and display appropriate game behavior: Remember, your child's self esteem and game performance is at stake. Be supportive, cheer, be appropriate. To perform to the best of their abilities, a player needs to focus on the parts of the game that they can control (fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, aggressiveness, what the game is presenting them). If they start focusing on what they can't control (condition of the field, the referee, the weather, the opponent, even the outcome of the game at times), they won't play up to their ability. If they hear a lot of people telling them what to do, or yelling at the referee, it diverts their attention away from the task at hand.
- Monitor your child's stress level at home: Keep an eye on the player to make sure that they are handling stress effectively from the various activities in his life.
- Monitor eating and sleeping habits: Be sure your child is eating the proper foods and getting adequate rest.
- Help your child keep their priorities straight: Help your child maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life beside soccer. Also, if your child has made a commitment to soccer, help them fulfill their obligation to the team.
- Reality test: If your child has come off the field when their team has lost, but they played their best, help them to see this as a "win". Remind he/she that they are to focus on "process" and not "results". Their fun and satisfaction should be derived from "striving to win". Conversely, they should be as satisfied from success that occurs despite inadequate preparation and performance.
