How Parents Can Help the Player to Perform at the Highest Level
- by Ric Granryd, Director of Coaching, AUSC
Most parents are justifiably concerned that their child performs well on the field. However, the parental behavior that demonstrates their concern is often disruptive to the performance of their child. The following principles will help you work with your child's coach and help your child perform at the highest possible level:
- Enjoy soccer. Most coaches try to make the games and training fun. Those who do produce peak performers because having fun develops and sustains motivation. If the fun leaves the sport due to pressure from the parent to achieve, the player is very susceptible to performance problems. Your child should be playing soccer because he/she desires to do so. Certainly a parent can encourage initial participation because the child may not have any experience in the sport. But after that, the player should develop his/her own reasons to play, separate from the parent's reasons. There are far too many instances of parents who offer "bribes" or "bonuses" for their child's performance. This is risky business, and we would rather have the player play (and achieve a high standard of play) for personal reward rather than for an artificial, material reward.
- Provide challenges, not threats or punishment for poor performance will ultimately hurt the childís performance and damage self-esteem. Fear is a short-term motivator that will gradually lose its effect and may cause long-term problems. Inherent in a threat is the belief that your child is not capable. However, a challenge (with no punishment for failure) shows your ultimate belief in his/her abilities. A threat is also distracting to the player because it places the focus "after the game" as opposed to "during the game." Please do not use guilt, threats, or fear to motivate your young soccer player.
- Build high self-esteem. High self-esteem leads to improved performance, while low self-esteem results in poorer performance. Try to recognize your child's good play and not focus on the negative. Parents have been known to link their affections to performance Don't let this be you!!!
- Encourage a process focus. Often, children "choke" due to their parent's inadvertent preoccupation with outcome versus process. A player's head and heart filled with expectations/thoughts of we need to win or I must score 2 goals simply causes distraction. As a parent, refocus your comments and conversation toward the process of training, competing, and playing the game.
- View failure as a learning experience. The "freedom to fail" allows athletes to let it all "hang out," while the worry of making a mistake causes most athletes to play tentatively. Failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. It is feedback.
- Encourage automatic non-thinking. Characteristic of peak performances is that the athletes are not thinking, they almost seem to be on autopilot, focusing on the experience itself. They use their knowledge and abilities by instinct and are truly "at one" with the entire game and its environs. Giving your child something more to think about can be counterproductive and thinking just slows everything down! Try to provide comments, pre-game and post-game, that do not entice the player to try too hard (have fun out there, you look ready to rock, etc.).
- Be relaxed. Also characteristic of peak performances is that the athlete is relaxed and focused. Parental comments or pressure serve only to interfere with this principle.
